Illness can arrive in many forms.  It may be that the illness has come out of the blue or it could be that you are dealing with a long-term condition and both can be very difficult to navigate:

• The sudden crisis: an unexpected diagnosis or health issue can turn your world upside down overnight. The shock, fear and urgent demands for care can feel overwhelming and disorienting.
• The chronic condition: dealing with a long-term illness can put a strain on both partners with a steady accumulation of stress and a future which feels uncertain.

Both Partners are walking an unknown path and this new development can exacerbate existing relational tension and also create new problems.

The partner who is unwell often grapples with complex feelings such as:

• Guilt and regret: the strain of needing extra support can lead to feelings of being a burden, or sadness that they cannot be the partner they want to be
• Frustration and disappointment: they may feel misunderstood or disappointed if their partner’s support doesn’t meet their needs, leading to further isolation.

The supporting partner faces an equally complex emotional landscape:

• Fear and grief: they may feel fearful of the future and simultaneously grieving the loss of the life they had imagined together
• Exhaustion and resentment: taking on extra responsibilities can be physically and emotionally draining. It is common to feel frustrated, isolated or resentful that your own life feels ‘on hold’.

This array of complex emotions and can put pressure on your relationship, making it difficult to communicate openly.  This can result in a shut down in connection, or a risk of conflict and upset.

How Can Therapy Help?

When the weight feels too heavy to bear alone, seeking professional support is an act of courage and self-preservation.  Therapy provides:

• A non-judgmental outlet: an opportunity to share your full range of feelings, fears and frustrations without the risk of burdening or hurting your partner. This can significantly relieve the pressure inside your relationship.
• Processing grief and certainty: talking to a therapist can help you process the grief for your loss of “the way things were” and navigate the uncertainty about the future
• Gaining perspective enables the opportunity to develop new ways of relating to your partner
• Support for the caregiver: for the supporting partner, therapy is an important space to ensure your own well-being is prioritised and you develop ways of looking after yourself and developing your own resources.